Physical facilities and Relationship

Human being wants to live with happiness and a feeling of prosperity, and he wants continuity of both. Only right understanding and samadhan can ensure right feelings and its continuity. And in order to achieve samadhan man needs right understanding, relationships and physical facilities.

There is a general belief that relationships can be achieved through physical facilities and so all our efforts goes into accumulation of  physical facilities, which in the end does not result in fulfilling the basic values of relationship. Ill explain with an example. We all try to get respect (and also reciprocate) through physical facilities but we fail. We can never ensure the continuity of respect. At best what we get is a temporary feeling of respect and even in that somewhere deep within we are aware of its non-permanency. We are also aware of the fact that the respect given to us is not for our individuality but for the physical facilities we own.

I have personally asked many people whether the problems in their family are due to lack of physical facilities or lack of relationships among family members. Almost all have answered that its due to lack of relationship. And then when pointed to the fact that most of their time and effort goes for accumulation of physical facilities and very little effort is spent to resolve relationships they all seem to agree (with a sense of astonishment). It seems they never thought about such an obvious fact. If we look at the modern society all our education, training and effort is concentrated on physical facilities where as the major source of unhappiness is the inhuman behavior and character of human beings, which no one seem to pay any attention to. That is precisely why it becomes all the more important to understand what relationship is, what human behavior is.

 

On the basis of physical facilities one cannot ensure relationship ( and its continuity). This is because the feelings coming due to physical facilities does not have a continuity in them, for example I may wear a pair of clothes to get respect. The other person might even appreciate them ( and through them me) for the first time he meets me, but on second meeting he may not even notice my clothes. Such an act will therefore leave me perturbed and confused and as a result I may arrive to a conclusion that I would need unlimited amount of clothes to ensure the feeling of respect from him. This would unknowingly put me into the cycle of consumerism.

Physical facilities can at best influence ( or sometimes even dominate ) the other person, but they can never ensure a feeling of assurance in relationship. Absence of this assurance always leads to an element of doubt. This doubt is the seed of fear, which ultimately leads to our unhappiness.

What is really required in a relationship is this feeling of assurance ( that the other is for my happiness, just like I’m for his), and this assurance gives us happiness and its continuity. Wherever the feeling of assurance is lacking or there is a relationship based on conditions (more like a contract) it gives rise to doubt, which leads to fear.

To feel assured in a relationship one must understand the basic values in relationship, evaluate them and express them. This leads to happiness in oneself which in turn leads to happiness in the other. This is what is being called justice in relationship. When we try to understand relationship we find that there are basically 9 values in relationship, namely Trust ( vishwas ), Respect ( sammaan ), Affection ( sneh ), Care ( mamta ), Guidance ( vatsalya ), ( shraddha ), Glory ( gaurav ), ( kritagyata ) and Love ( prem ). These values are called sthapit ( established ) values as they are there. We always have an acceptance and expectation of them. We don’t have to create these values, only understand them and express them.

To understand relationship and its values it becomes essential to first understand a human being. A human being is a co-existence of consciousness ( I ) and body and when we understand this co-existence we realize that the relation is between I & I and not between two bodies. The feelings in relation is for one I by the other I. when the feeling is in my I, then I get happy and when I express it, the other I gets happy. In this the body may only be used to express the feelings, but the feelings are in I.

 

Trust is regarded as the base value. This is because unless we have the feeling of trust in a relationship we cannot think about other values. Trust basically means to feel assured. To feel assured that the other person is for my happiness, just the way I’m for his. If we ask ourselves and if we refer to our natural acceptance ( sahaj swikriti ), we find that we want to live happily and we also want to help the other live happily. Similarly the other would want to live happily and also help me live happily. When such a feeling comes, then we feel assured towards the other or in other words we trust the other.

Similarly respect ( sammaan ) is when we try to evaluate the other person on the basis of his consciousness ( I ). We find that in terms of goal, means to achieve the goal, capacity to achieve the goal his I and my I are the same. And so in that respect we are like one another. On that basis we can rightly evaluate the other ( his intention and competence ) and thus have a feeling of respect for him. Once the feeling of trust and respect are ensured, then we can go about ensuring other values in the relationship. And therefore we truly become competent for the relationship. Instead of expecting the feelings, the values from the other, for the first time we are in a situation where we can offer these feelings to the other.

So the basis of relationship is not physical facilities but the understanding of relationships. When we understand the relationship, we can then go about fulfilling it and then for the first time we can get an idea of how much of physical facilities is required. and to ensure that together we can put our effort and work on nature. For the first time we can produce more than what is required and thus have a feeling of prosperity.

So if we understand relationship, if we understand the innate values in it, we evaluate and live in relationship, we then work for universal happiness. Our natural acceptance is to live in relation with one and everyone and as our competence keeps increasing, we keep getting the feeling of being related to every man on earth. And so we start from family but do not fall short before world family. This is the feeling of Love ( prem ). It is the feeling of love which becomes the basis of undivided society ( vasudev kutumbkam ).

Physical facilities and Prosperity

Every human being wants to live with continuous happiness and feeling of prosperity. If we see most of our efforts and time are largely put to ensure accumulation of physical facilities, the presumption being that physical facilities will ensure both happiness and feeling of prosperity. Today, we only have a feel for the need of prosperity, but due to lack of understanding, we end up working only for physical facilities, without making sure whether it is leading to a feeling of prosperity or not.

To solve the above problem, we need to look into the answers of two basic questions- a) what are meanings of ‘physical facilities’ and ‘prosperity’? Are they the same thing or two distinct things? And b) can prosperity be ensured by accumulating physical facilities? Physical facilities are nothing but physio-chemical things which are used for nurturing, protection and right utilization of body, while prosperity is a feeling of having (or ability to have) more physical facilities than required.

Today we don’t even talk about knowing how much physical facilities we need. Instead, we go about accumulating more and more physical facilities. This is like filling water in a glass which has no base. No amount of water will fill the glass. Have you ever tried to look into the question of how much physical facilities you need? If yes, then can you see a possibility of having more than that? If physical facilities for you have been converted into money, then have you thought of how much money is needed and the possibility of having more than that? If you have not given a thought to above questions then I’m afraid you will never feel prosperous. If you believe that needs are unlimited and resources are limited (something very prominently taught by modern economics) then you are bound to feel deprived. If you look carefully into what modern economy states (needs are unlimited while resources are limited), then you would realize everyman in this earth is bound to be deprived. The earth does not have enough to make even a single person feel prosperous.

If you look back into the definition given for prosperity, it has two components in it- a) to know how much physical facilities one needs and b) to have more (or have ability to produce more) than what is required. Thus in first place, it becomes essential to understand how much do we need. This understanding can only come from a state of Samadhan (state of right understanding and right feeling). Only then can we ensure to have more than what is required and thus feel prosperous and happy.

From right understanding, one realizes that human being is a co-existence of Self (I) and body. The need of Self (I) is continuous happiness, while need of body is physical facilities (physio-chemical things) for its nurture, protection and right utilization. Need of I is fulfilled by right understanding and right feelings, while need of body is fulfilled by work with rest of the nature to produce physical facilities. One realizes that the need of I is continuous in time and is of qualitative nature, while need to body is limited in time and of quantitative nature. Nature has more than enough to fulfill the need of body of every individual. Thus with a state of Samadhan, one can ensure how much physical facilities is required and thus go about producing more than that, and so have the feeling of prosperity.

One symptom of feeling prosperous is that you feel to nourish the other. While in the absence of this feeling, you always feel the need to have more and thus think in terms of exploiting the other. One can look into oneself and see whether we have a feeling of nourishment for the other, or a feeling of exploiting?

To ensure prosperity first Samadhan is necessary and then the required physical facilities. In absence of Samadhan, we are into the loop of accumulating more and more (without knowing how much is required)and thus feeling deprived continuously (and finally thinking of exploiting the other). Today each individual needs to look within oneself and find out where he/she stands.

Physical facilities and Happiness

Every Human being wants to live with continuous happiness and feeling of prosperity. If we observe our lifestyle today, almost all our effort and time goes in order to ensure physical facilities. The inherent presumption behind this effort is that physical facilities will ensure continuity of happiness. If we look into this presumption, what appears is that in case of lack of physical facilities we feel unhappy. But we all know that having enough of physical facilities cannot ensure continuity of happiness. Thus it becomes essential to address to the need of happiness and physical facilities separately (both being important). Therefore, one must understand happiness, physical facilities and the inter-relation between the two.

Physical facilities basically consist of physio-chemical things, which are used for the nurturing, protection and right utilization of the body. Today we are in the habit of deriving happiness out of the sensations coming out of the touch of these physio-chemical things (the example of a rasgulla). If the sensation is favorable (on expected grounds) to our taste then we get happiness, otherwise we feel unhappy (or not so happy) about it. This is called ruchi mulak aaswadan (taste based on sensation).

We cannot get continuity of happiness out of the sensation coming out of physio-chemical things. This is because to ensure the continuity, we need to maintain a constant contact with physio-chemical things, which is highly unlikely (if not impossible). Even if we try to maintain a constant contact, then it would be interesting to note the pattern of the sensations coming out of it. At first, the sensation seems favorable and necessary. As the contact continues, the sensation seems to get favorable but unnecessary. Soon they turn into unfavorable sensations followed by intolerable sensations and thus we are forced to release the contact of that physio-chemical thing. Thus something which started as being source of happiness soon turns into a source of gross unhappiness. And so we tend to fall into the trap of changing our source of sensation from one to another and time to time.

Since we are not able to derive the continuity of happiness through sensations, we come to believe that we don’t have enough of  physical facilities, and so we go about accumulating more and more physical facilities and thus fall into the trap of consumerism. We never understand the simple fact that it is not possible to achieve the continuity to happiness through sensations. In order to ensure continuity of happiness, the source of happiness needs to be continuous (which physio-chemical things can never be).

To ensure continuity of happiness right understanding and right feelings (in relationshio) are required. Right understanding leads to happiness, right feeling in relationship leads to happiness. Whenever we lack right understanding, there is lack of clarity, there is doubt and fear, which leads to unhappiness. Whenever we lack right feelings in relationship, or we have feeling of opposition it leads to unhappiness.

To live with right understanding and with right feelings is called samadhan. So, samadhan leads to happiness, lack of samadhan (samasya) leads to unhappiness. Continuity of happiness is possible through samadhan, because, continuity of samadhan is possible. Continuity of samadhan is ensured if it comes from knowledge. Knowledge gives rise to right understanding and right feelings. If our understanding is based on mere imagination or if I’m not authenticate about it, then such a understanding will not have a continuity. Therefore, knowledge in the self is required for right understanding, which leads to a state of Samadhan, which in turn leads to continuous happiness.

Knowledge leading to right understanding mainly consists of three parts- a) knowledge of the self, b) knowledge of things around upto the entire existence and c) understanding of the relationship between self and each unit in existence (which is also referred to as human conduct). Knowledge of all three leads to Samadhan which ensures continuity of happiness. This is referred to as Samadhan mulak aaswadan (taste based on understanding). Similarly, there is continuity of right feelings based on right understanding which leads to continuity of happiness. This is referred to as Mulyamulak aaswadan (taste based on feelings). So, the shift has to be from ruchi mulak aaswadan to Samadhanmulak aaswadan and Mulyamulak aaswadan.

Being in a state of Samadhan, we can now know the need of physical facilities. And once we know how much we need, we can work with nature to produce more than what is required. This leads to a feeling of prosperity which has continuity to it. We also realize then, that our need for physical facilities is limited, while the resources in nature are more than enough to ensure those needs, and therefore, there is possibility of prosperity for everyone.

Thus by right understanding and right feelings, we ensure continuity of happiness and by right production, we ensure the feeling of prosperity, which are the ultimate desires of every human being. Needless to say that just ‘accumulation of physical facilities’ is not enough for it.